Let us all welcome here today, Miv Evans, who is the author of the book, How I exiled my Inner Bitch. I hope you all have fun reading her fun-filled day as I did when I read.
DAYS IN THE LIFE OF MIV EVANS THE AUTHOR
Step One – fall out of bed.
Step Two – Wander into bathroom.
Step Three – Clean teeth & put conditioner on (dry) hair.
Step Four – Wander into kitchen, put on kettle.
Step Five – Wander into office. Check at least three email addresses (I have seven) and reply if necessary.
Step Six – Wander back into kitchen, make Essiac tea, take it back to office.
Step Seven – Check four remaining email addresses and don’t bother replying. Time is marching on.
Step Eight – Wander into bathroom, wash conditioner off hair (this daily no-shampoo routine does wonders for hair), jump in bath, throw on any clothes as long as they’re as clean as me.
Step Nine – Wander into living room, go on laptop and remain chained for remainder of day, stopping only for lunch (salad because it doesn’t involve cooking) and dinner, which could be anything from a muffin to ice cream.
Step Ten – Clean teeth plus use waterpic, splash face, pull on T-shirt and fall into bed.
SECOND BEST DAY
As above but interrupted by –
Step Nine (a) – Phone call/text/Fedex asking me to take delivery of parcel for next door neighbor/neighbor’s dog barking.
THIRD BEST DAY
Steps One to Ten of Second Best Day, plus –
Step Nine (b) – Walk to gym for cycle class at 11.45, return 1.15 pm, continue to Step Ten.
FOURTH BEST DAY
Steps One to Ten, plus –
Step Nine (c) – Go to screening for film. Before starting to write novel, attended screenings five times a week, but now twice a month and studio films only.
FIFTH BEST DAY
Steps one to ten, plus –
Step 9 (d) – which can be trip to supermarket/bank/dentist/hair salon/other essential places.
SIXTH BEST DAY
As fourth best day, plus 9 (e) – which is going out in evening to meet friends. I realize this is bizarre, but as an obsessive writer, everything is a distraction.
As Steps One to Ten, but with at least two of Step 9 (a). Step 9 (b), at least two of 9 (d) and a 9 (e). These days can result in withdrawal.
EVEN WORSE DAY
Novel is finished.
FAVORITE LINE IN MOVIE
“You’re not too smart, are you? I like that in a man”
Kathleen Turner, Body Heat
“I read her letters
I saw her picture
I smelled her cheap perfume
It must have come from you”
Aretha Franklin, Willing to Forgive
Shut Up and Jump
“Take your tongue out of my mouth, I’m kissing you goodbye”
Miv Evans, end of last failed relationship
Miv Evans left her home in Wales in 2005 to relocate to Los Angeles, and she is proud to say that she can now write in American. Miv has always been self-employed and was initially inspired to write when she went into business as a second-hand car dealer. Being the only female in a male environment, she was the butt of much humor, and she drew on her experiences to write a comedy drama which got sold to BBC TV. She also sold the first film she directed, wrote and produced to REN Media International, Beverly Hills. Currently, Miv works as an entertainment journalist and is a film critic for Yahoo! and Entertainment Magazine. She has been published both in print and online and is a member of the Motion Picture Association of America. As well as reviews, Miv also writes screenplays, and she has amassed quite a collection of ‘nearly made it’ stories since arriving in L.A. She is now convinced that Hollywood is the only place in the world where you can actually die of encouragement!
Favorite line in movie – You’re not too smart, are you? I like that in a man.
Favorite lyric –
I read her letters,
I saw her picture,
I smelled her cheap perfume,
It must have come from you.
Favorite T-shirt –
Shut up and jump
Favorite quote –
Take your tongue out of my mouth, I’m kissing you goodbye.
Miv Evans, at end of last failed relationship